YOUNG MOTHER’S

New moms are constantly being judged for everything they do.Everyone thinks they know what you do not know as a young mom and in truth they do,only that at that point it does not matter.Baby is too light,too skinny,too fat they say.
It’s like they pointing fingers at you saying you do not do enough for your baby yet it’s your baby.They act as if you do not know the first thing about taking care of another human.Baby doesn’t have new clothes they say he needs new clothes.you don’t know how to dress your baby,you buy thrifted clothes,you don’t breastfeed enough you do not eat enough as a mother goes the opinions . They think stuffing yourself with food because you are breastfeeding is being a good mom regardless of  whether the food is nutrition packed or just empty calories it doesn’t matter,they just need you to stay fat.
The judging is constant and it’s tiring.Opinions left right and center without a break.I feel like new moms take in more than they should and hence the rising number of postpartum depression cases.

The constant pressure for young mother’s to be perfect in the eyes of others makes it even more difficult to find the border between right and wrong. Personally I have been judged for the most absurd of things say for overfeeding my baby and not feeding him enough. Loving my baby too much and pampering him too much and excusing his behavior whenever he throws a tantrum. Its a constant sea of opinions from everyone around and it can get overwhelming and confusing,you do not need to absorb it all,you do not need to get it right the first time & every other time in that case,I know that experience is the best teacher at the end of the day.

Honestly it ain’t necessary to criticize and yet still people look at you and see inexperience,they look at you and see mistakes.i used to pay attention, listen absorb all the advices, criticisms then I realized at the end of the day you learn you grow and become an expert with time you do not have to know everything at once as your baby grows you also grow as a mom and it’s okay to not be right all the time.
I realized I needed to learn new ways in motherhood and unlearn the old ways, the ways I had constantly been made to believe to be right.

I raise my baby the way I feel is right by me and right by him and today if another mom needs my advice I just tell them learn your baby and grow with them.Babies are different and you have to give yourself a chance to experience with your baby to bond and to do things just the way you can. There is no manual that comes with motherhood but it’s fun learning and growing with your little one. Truth here is experience is the best teacher,seek help when you need it and when offered but remember to not feel the pressure of being a perfect mother no one is.Show your baby that you do care and be present as a parent eventually you will feel that you are doing the best you can and to your son or daughter you are the best and you rock and that is enough reward for anyone.

As they grow older remember to correct with love consistently and do not be too harsh, understanding is key to disciplining them as well.Nothing beats the love of a mother and the admiration in their eyes will just answer all your questions and erase all your doubts.

#From a perspective of experience


Enjoy reading this piece & follow this blog for more of my wondrous thoughts.


Thanks


#stay sweet
#drip is eternal

Find me on YouTube :@ Kayla faith

Instagram: @ kaykharsh

Facebook: @kharsh faith

Pinterest: @ Kayla faith

Feel loved always.

THINGS I WISH I KNEW ON COMPLETING UNIVERSITY

Advice to graduates or those looking to graduate.

Allow me to give you a few tips about finishing school that you might need to think about before you are done.


Tip. keep an open mind about careers, relationships,family and friendships.
1. Think about what you want to do once you finish,plan how you want to do it & exactly what you want to achieve towards your career but also keep an open mind about where to start,don’t be disappointed if it doesn’t go exactly how you want it to go but keep the goal in mind and realize that you might have to start where you did not expect to start but start there anyway as long as you know where you want to go and trust me it’s okay if you do not know where you wanna go anyway you will figure it out along the way of life.


2. About relationships,truth about campus relationships is that many end up in marriage but some may not.Be sure about what you want as a person and also what your partner wants as well considering that people change,personal goals change and where two people started may not be exactly the position that they are at that point.key thing is to communicate with your partner about your expectations and keep those expectations at the minimum to avoid heartbreaks.Most ladies expect a natural progression of the relationship to marriage after campus despite the changes that the relationship may have gone through over time yet truth is most men at that point may not have the same perception therefore keep an open mind about this as well. Do not settle,see it for what it is and be open to any direction that it may take either way redirect your life to what is good for you and the place that you are in your life.Good thing you are still young and alot is still ahead of you.The sad reality is that dating outside school may not be as easy considering that out here everyone is busy with life,others have settled while others are just here to play and ‘see how it goes’ either way that is not a reason to settle rather than dealing with regrets of settling with the wrong partner later it’s better to sail the boat of unknown and if you are lucky you will find your star someday.


3. Friendships, very few people keep in touch with the people they schooled with reason being people move on,life happens and distance may not exactly be fair to all friendships however few may survive. Once in the daily grind you may lack time to catch up and that is how friendships die others may be lucky and get straight into working while others may be struggling a little just to keep up , this differences challenge alot of friendships. Either way it is nothing to be worried about since you will meet new people and cultivate a new cycle in a new environment one which will be easy to maintain and grow over time. The workplace is one such place.


4. Family, keep an open mind about family because on completing school you will be highly welcomed back home but after a few months or years of sitting and watching television with no progress on your part the pressure begins with  intention to push you into independence. Truth is no one likes a ‘couch potato’ therefore push yourself before you are pushed. The pressure of when are you going to get a job ? When are you going to start a family? When are you going to do that masters? and alot more when are you…? questions will come, be ready for them hopefully then you will be somewhere,doing something with your life and as such questions come it will not affect you much but if nothing is happening for you then depression may creep in and that on its own is a story for another day.Otherwise you better be doing something you love somewhere and people may or may not leave you alone but live your life anyway.
On another note keep your expectations low on those you expect to push you to a level or to give you opportunities. Know that the universe owes you nothing and for you to build something for yourself you gat to hustle hard, ‘jitume’ and that is the only way it’s gonna happen.That uncle or auntie that has a prestigious job and drives a huuge car whom you are so sure is going to push for you that CV that she asked for months ago for you to get that job that you did not even apply for is a dream that may not happen.Do not sit back and wait on it incase it does not happen and you get disappointed.Keep your expectations low and do not hate those people for no reason it’s your life and  you got to work hard for it.


Your grades may be up top but tarmacking is real so do not be depressed when with your first class honours those jobs don’t come calling it will one day,but for now just take the first opportunity that knocks and run with it you never know where it gets you a few years to come because  it’s the experience that counts sometimes it’s not the grades. If opportunity doesn’t knock chase it instead of waiting for it to come to you,it’s rewarding.


On money learn to be satisfied with the little you get after school reality is there will be no more handouts from your parents at least not in the lumpsum that was during your school days and no more HELB to waste around. Learn to save and to hustle for your own money at least that way you will learn to appreciate every coin you earn.


Lastly do not compare your progress with your peers because everyone lives their life’s differently and every one’s time is different just recognize and utilise your opportunities well do not let them slip by you.
Stay woke and be ready to learn and grow each day.
Life is a class of its own.

#From a perspective of experience

Enjoy reading this piece.

Like this post and leave a comment below.

Follow this blog for more of my wondrous thoughts.

Thanks.

2020 , New decade Fresh vibes

Starting this New decade I felt the urge to rekindle my interest and love for reading and writing and in the process I bumped into a series of book reviews of all the amazing books I have read in the past and going forward I wish to put copies of the raw content as to how I felt as of when I read and wrote them.

I felt refreshed going back to my journals and reading my own thoughts of these books.The authors of the books I reviewed are so amazing and I give so much credit to them and their work,I do acknowledge that this books are the works of the original authors and mine are just thoughts and feelings that I got from reading them.

NEW JOB AND BABY

My baby is the most handsome cutest being i have ever known, i love him with all my being and i know to him mommy and daddy are heroes in his eyes and hence the need to seek for ways to provide for him the best life that we can.I just went back to work a few days ago and leaving my baby to go back to work was one of the hardest decisions i have ever had to make in my life.He is one year and two months old now but i have never felt he is old enough to be left with a sitter.I had to look for a sitter for him but every time i was at work i kept worrying alot ,i still do. The first week of going back to work was terrible i couldn’t sit still, i almost wanted to go back home.It took alot of positive talk to my self about the fact that i needed to get out and accept the help from someone else,it took me a while to be able to trust someone else with my baby infact i had detailed instructions that i had written down for the person i first left him with on how to care for him,how to change his diaper,how to feed him,the number of times to feed him,how he likes to sleep,his nap times,what to dress him in and even how he likes to play.I wanted to be as clear as possible on the needs of my baby so that my sitter could not get anything twisted or confused.I realized i am the most paranoid mom i know and i understand that there are alot more who are like me.I missed my baby alot and since i had never been away from him for more than 6 hours like i do now i was afraid i felt that maybe she might not be patient with him as i would be or maybe she wouldn’t take good care of him as i would.Before i settled on the best seater for my baby i fired two of them within three days because i wanted only the best and truly there is no shame in seeking help with kids and other duties while providing for your families.Mothers out there need to hear and accept that without feeling guilty of abandoning their kids as i felt.

My baby is my most precious human and since i started working i take every minute around him preciously.I maximize on the times we spend together a lot and make sure that i take time for just us me and him.Bath times are sacred to us, where i take the longest time playing with him and talking to him, during dinner i ensure that i am the one to feed him so that i am able to bond and laugh with him.Before bed we can watch one of his fun baby rhymes from cocomelon or read a book or just play,this depends on the mood we are in at that moment.

I take holidays and weekends more seriously now, to me the more offdays i get the happier i become cos that means more time to have fun and go out with my son.Lucky for me i got the coolest sitter in the whole world and luckily my husbands small sister is around to be my eye and ear at home.This ensures that my baby is well taken care as that is the biggest priority for me at the moment.

I am happy to work and provide for my family and still be able to give my baby my time.

I know it will get easier with time.I trust that i will get a hold of it sooner.

#beauty in parenting

# motherhood

Babies don’t come with a manual.

Today we went on our monthly weight and height monitoring clinic visits and me and my baby came back the happiest.He just hit the 8.0kg mark and I couldn’t be more ecstatic,his weight had been stagnating for a while with really slight gains of a few grams for a few months and it had started to really stress me I felt like I was not feeding him enough.I beat myself alot over it I felt like I wasn’t doing enough until today when he hit that mark, for me it’s an achievement,i gave myself a part in the back.
It means I have been doing something worthwhile this past month and I feel like taking credit for adding more feeding times to his day, to more wholesome nutritious meals, breastfeeding often,more activities during playtime and even more sleep.
For mothers out there like me I know how much we worry when baby does not add weight or drops a few grams in a month, which often could be due to fevers,could be due to change of appetite as the baby develops their first set of teeth or just generally changes as baby develops.Irregardless of whatever reasons us mothers take it personally and we are not easy on ourselves over this matter.

As a first time mom I had times of real worry over so much things like heat rash,nappy rash,fevers,colds,baby fatigue, sleeping patterns,baby weight,the number of times my baby would pee or poop,itchy gums not forgetting the first few weeks of colic and tantrums,this is until I understood that babies are different and each one grows at their own pace and in their own way.The best thing to do is just to let the baby be and let them be themselves.The best thing about it is that it gets better with time and as baby grows you become a pro in handling your baby.
Although mothers can relate with one another on matters baby stuff based on personal experiences it is beneficial to share ideas but it is important to note that each mother need to know their own baby and understand them and treat them accordingly.Motherhood doesn’t come with a manual so we design one.
I am also learning more as we grow, at day one I knew bits and pieces some of what my friends taught me on my baby shower and maybe information that my mother had shared with me in brief.One year and fifteen days later I can’t say I am as clueless as I was then.

#motherhood

#beauty in parenting

MUMMY AND BABY

My son is the only person who can drive me crazy and make me smile all at the same time.Since he turned a year old the other day he seems to have a newfound love for everything danger.He keeps me on my toes from morning to night.I get the chance to rest when he takes one of his long naps but even then I have chores to do. When he sleeps at 1:30 p.m to 3.00 p.m I wash clothes his and ours then wash utensils,shower and be ready for a show I am currently hooked on or at times I have to rush to the shop to get something while he is asleep as someone watches over him, I am always in a rush to complete my tasks before he wakes up because between feeding him and running around the house trying to control his little playful self I never get anything done.I have recently noticed how he has taken interest in putting his hands in water and whenever he finds any water storage container that isn’t covered he plays with that water and whenever I try to deny him access to it he throws a huuge tantrum that I end up just standing there and looking at him funny.
Same for his newfound interest in the kitchen sink with whatever is on it.He will climb whatever can help him get to it and when up there he will be laughing and giggling about being able to infuriate me.He scares me because he is interested in all the dangerous little things. He loves the outdoors and whenever we go out to play or just to bask in the sun, getting back into the house is a fight him crying for the door tantrum after tantrum.I am yet to discover ways to make him stop testing and infuriating me.
I am a mother raising a king,a man, a cute little lovely human.It gets even more difficult because I am doing it single handedly with his dad away for work and having no house help to help.It has its good side and other side.Atleast I get to spend time with him and make memories.

#beauty in parenting

#motherhood